So I have a confession to make: until today I hadn't spent any time alone with God since Monday. I mean, I went to church Wednesday & posted the Facebook devos for my students, but I hadn't spent any intimate time with Him alone since Monday, & I knew it was my own fault. Many times each day I had opportunities to stop & spend some time with Him, but I had made excuses & opted to spend my time doing something else. Anyway, as many of you know I am taking the GRE tomorrow morning & have been stressing about it for the past few days. I allowed this test to distract me from my TAWG (Time Alone With God). Plus, I have been in over-drive trying to figure out how I'm going to raise support for myself through Praying Pelican Missions, as well as for India & very soon South Africa.
Tonight, after fundraising at Barnes & Noble & then coming home to make more ornaments for my fundraiser, I sat down to squeeze a bit more studying in & thought to myself, "You need to stop & talk to the Lord." I began by apologizing for putting Him off & making excuses. I'm so glad Jesus makes up for all of my shortcomings. I told Him that I will study more tonight, but that first I am going to spend some time with Him.
I'm currently going through Purpose Driven Life with one of my best friends, but (obviously) have been struggling to read it everyday, even though it is a terrific devo & I always get a lot out of each devotion. Today is day 9 for me & the title is "What Makes God Smile?" & the main point was that God smiles when I trust Him. Talk about apropos! That couldn't be more relevant for me today. Isn't that why I'm stressing so much? Because I'm not trusting Him; I'm trusting me & trying to do it all myself. Sure, I need to put the studying in to get the high score, & I must do my part to raise the funds, but at the end of it all He is the one I must trust to provide. To be honest, I get tired of trying to do it all myself. So why do I keep giving Him my worries & then taking them right back?!
It gets better. As if the entire entry wasn't conviction enough that I've been going about things all wrong, it posses a question at the conclusion: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust Him most? Way to bolster the point. Of course, I need to trust Him in all things, but especially in those areas that I tend to try to hold on to myself & control. Areas like finances & fundraising. Why, if it's so obvious that I need to trust Him with these things, is it so arduous then?!
God certainly wasn't trying to dissemble His message to me tonight. "Trust Me!" Well God, I heard you tonight. Thank you for moving me to listen.
Maybe you're right where I am. Maybe you need to take a breath & spend some time listening to Him. Pleasing God is the ultimate purpose of our lives, so how do we make Him smile? Psalm 147:11 says, "The Lord is pleased with those who worship Him & trust His love." God smiles when we trust Him. :-)
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