When Words Fail

Often times when we have teams come and serve with Praying Pelican Missions in Jamaica one of the activities they will participate in is a visit to the infirmary. An infirmary is similar to an assisted living facility and a nursing home and a mental facility all rolled into one. Each of the 14 parishes (states) in Jamaica have one and many of the residents are there because they have no family to care for them and are homeless or because they are disabled.

Teams have a variety of responses toward the infirmary visits, including shock and discomfort (because it's awkward when you are dealing people you aren't sure how to respond to). But one thing is always true of the infirmary visits - we go to be a blessing and end up being blessed. The residents have a faith that is rooted so much deeper than many of us will ever be able to attain. These individuals leave impressions on our hearts that are not soon forgotten. Here is an account of one such visit:

We arrived in the early morning to spend the entire day with the residents at the infirmary nearest us. Most of us spent time one on one with residents, talking to them even if they couldn't respond to us in word, combing their hair, painting their nails, shaving their faces, helping the nurses where we could lend a hand. Those who could would share their life stories with us about growing up in Jamaica and telling us about their families and dreams.

Towards the end of the day one of the residents named Donavan was rolled over to sit with a group of us who were seated on benches. Since his English accent and Patois (Jamaican language) is very thick I translated for the group. We laughed with him as he began telling us about his girlfriend and co-resident Deloris, who is a mute. He spoke of the way they care for one another. She brings him his meals even when he doesn't feel like eating, and does his laundry, and even cuts his hair. Playfully, we asked him what he does for her and he quickly turned our smiles to tears as he told us that he holds her when she cries and dances with her, even though he is wheelchair bound.

Donavan began telling us about how unhappy he is living in the infirmary, not because it's is a bad place to live, but because it is like a prison for him. Because he is wheelchair bound, with no use of his lower body & limited use of his upper, he is never allowed to leave the property. He spoke of his dreams to travel on the sea. After living at the infirmary for nine years with various groups coming in and out to visit, he was finally happy today because of our visit. He said he saw the Bible verse about loving one another come to life in us (John 13:35) and that he would keep us in his heart and prayers.

As if we weren't already massively moved by his words, he began to tell us about how sometimes he asks God why he has to live with these disabilities. Why can't he dance? Why can't he travel? Why doesn't God heal him?He said that sometimes when he gets depressed he asks God these questions and God tells him that he needs to trust Him and remember that He has things under control, and that gives Donavan comfort and strength.

He shared with us about how he wanted to call his mother for Easter but he didn't have any more minutes. His mom lives in the States and she never comes to visit. He said he wants to ask her why she left him at the infirmary. But then he reminded us how glad he was that we were there to visit with him and how he wishes we could stay.

Before we left he asked us to pray for him, that God would help him to be content in his circumstances and that God would bless the nurses who care for him and for Deloris. And that's when my words failed me. It was easy for me to remain detached from Donavan's story as I translated, but now as the group looked to me to pray for him, I had no more words. How often do I ask God to help me be content in my circumstances? He could have asked us to pray for his healing, and I almost would have preferred that because then I wouldn't have been so convicted. Instead, he asks one of the most unselfish requests and we are left in tears and speechless.

I managed to squeak out a prayer asking God to bless Donavan the way he blessed us. As we loaded the bus he reminded us to pray as a group on the bus before we pulled out & that he would be praying for us too. And once again I left the infirmary being blessed despite my best efforts to be more of a blessing.

Donavan is 49 years old and is full of life and faith is Jesus Christ. Here he is with his girlfriend Deloris.